I’m not going to lie to you folks, Valentine’s Day has never been my favorite and now that I’ve been in the sex writing game for longer than I was in college I may be especially cynical about the whole thing. This is about the time when mainstream outlets run “sexy gift idea” lists of toys that include things that have been universally panned (stop trying to make the Ora happen, it’s never going to happen), announce “new, exciting” toys that have been around nearly as long as I have (I saw one the other day “introducing” the Crave Vesper. You know, the crowd-funding hit of 2014 that has been everywhere for about 2 years now.), or have clearly been paid for by manufacturers (I refuse to believe anyone really thinks jelly anal beads look like a good time). It’s hard not to get cynical. So, what gets someone who writes about sex for a living excited this time of year? Well, honestly, the same stuff I always love! But, as I know a lot of you are out there hunting for ideas, let’s take another look at it. Here’s what I’m excited to use this Valentine’s Day:
Lube
LUBE MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. I will never stop pointing this out. A lot of people get hung up on whether or not they “need” lube as if needing it is a sexual failure but, seriously, there are so many reasons lube might be necessary, from medication side effects to room temperature (seriously, for me air conditioned room = more lube than usual) and even if it’s not “necessary”, it just makes stuff feel awesome. This is my current lube fleet (yes, I keep a fleet of lubes on hand):
Water Based- Sliquid Organics Natural Gel Lubricant
Get it here:
SheVibe, She Bop, Lovehoney, Peepshow Toys
Hybrid- Sliquid Organics Silk
Get it here:
SheVibe, Early to Bed, Lovehoney, Peepshow Toys
Silicone- überlube Silicone Lubricant
Featured in: “Lube In My Hair: Sex Geek Life-Hacks“
Get it here:
überlube, Good Vibrations, SheVibe, Early to Bed, She Bop, Lucky Bloke
Wands
When it comes to vibrators, I’m all about wands. Generally I like to have several on hand at all times- a big powerful one and a smaller waterproof one, you know, because the shower. Here’s what’s likely to play a role in my Valentine’s festivities
Doxy Die Cast Colors
Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things”
Get it here:
SheVibe, Peepshow Toys
Jimmyjane Iconic Wand
DISCONTINUED
Swan Wand
Get it here:
SheVibe, Early to Bed, Lovehoney, Peepshow Toys
Vibratex Magic Wand Rechargeable
Good Vibrations, SheVibe, Early to Bed, Peepshow Toys, Tantus
Vibratex Mystic Rechargeable Wand
Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things”
Get it here:
Peepshow Toys
Electrostimulation
This past year I’ve gotten really into e-stim – it’s just fun and makes me giggle a lot! Here’s the wand I use and the accessories I’ve been super into. Note: even if electricity isn’t your thing, I recommend Twisted Monk as a source for rope, they are awesome!
KinkLab Neon Wand Electrosex Kit
Get it here:
SheVibe, Early to Bed
Kinklab Power Tripper
Get it here:
SheVibe
HammerFell Armoury Polished Stainless Steel Claw
Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things”
DISCONTINUED
Twisted Monk Electro-Conductive Rope
Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things”
Impact Play
I don’t know about you, but for me there’s nothing quite like a good spanking. These days I have four favorite spanking implements. I love this collection because there’s an assortment of textures, different levels of bite (as it were) and two different dildo handles (you know, just in case!).
Fun Factory Bück Dich
Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things”
DISCONTINUED
Naughty & Nice Plush Paddle
Get it here:
The original has been discontinued but here’s a reasonable substitute
SwoonKink Cashmere Flogger
Featured in “Cool Stuff From the Cool Shops! aka So Many Dildos So Little Time”
Get it here:
Etsy
Tantus Plunge Silicone Paddle
Get it here:
Tantus, SheVibe, Early to Bed, Peepshow Toys
Liberator Furniture
As someone with a cranky back, I really love sex furniture for the support it offers but also, it just opens up a whole world of fun sexual possibilities. I won’t go into detail here but if you want ideas, check out Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life by Elle Chase – Liberator pillows come up a lot in the book.
Liberator Ramp Sex Pillow
Get it here:
Good Vibrations, SheVibe, Peepshow Toys
Liberator Wedge
Get it here:
SheVibe, Peepshow Toys
Sex Machine
I tend to think of these kinds of machines as more of a play party thing than a one on one thing but I’ve also never had my own so that might change this year. I’ve tested my Motorbunny a bit on my own but I’m really excited to try it and its attachments (especially the silicone ones!) out with my partner.
Motorbunny
Get it here:
Motorbunny
Sexy Painting
So, I’ve already made one of these and, frankly, my new apartment doesn’t have wall space for another…but I still kind of want to make another one. They are so much fun and there are different color options and stuff. Anyway, I highly recommend Love is Art.
Love is Art Kit
Get it here:
Peepshow Toys
So, there you have it, some stuff that this slightly cynical sex writer is excited about this Valentine’s Day. Now I’ll tell you the truth, I’ve been sick for a week and a half and there’s a good chance that I won’t make it up to my partner’s place and will instead spend V-day alone watching Bob’s Burgers. That said, I still vouch for all of these things and hope that whatever you are doing you have a great time doing it. On that note, let’s bring it all home with a couple of times things I love came together resulting in vibrators on Bob’s Burgers!
