Live & Learn Archive

Love in the Time of Facebook: Someone Didn’t Die & I Hesitated to “Like” It

Last week I had one of the most absurd moments of my dating life. Yes, it beat out the time I dated a guy for 3 weeks because I didn’t

Update: On April 22 I secured an apartment and stopped being such a freakin’ drama queen… about this particular topic. I don’t usually break from my schedule but I’m feeling

#sexgeek S.O.S

I’m sitting in the airport in Minneapolis getting ready to fly to my new home of Portland, Oregon. This marks the end of the Superhero Sex Shop Tour* This experience

I wrote this last summer as a writing sample and then put it aside and completely forgot about it. I just came across it and while everything that says “recently

Flipping through Jezebel last week I was greeted with the news that, in what can only be described as proof that humans are getting dumber, “Friend Zone” was recently

When I lost my virginity it was an intellectual rather than a physical act. I’ll explain in a minute. The “losing the virginity” narrative is one that I think we

After much deliberation I made the decision to much across the country. Along with this comes the decision to change what I do for a living. It just took me

I could easily have tweeted the jist of this piece: I have first date sex because I like sex. I didn’t tweet it because I’ve been getting increasingly up-in-arms about

I’m still knocked on my ass with the flu so we have some more classic Bedhead today. This piece originally ran on “The Buzz: Good Vibrations Online Magazine” on October

In honor of me coming down with the flu, we’re going with a little classic Bedhead today. This piece originally ran on “The Buzz: Good Vibrations Online Magazine” on September

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JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken here at The Redhead Bedhead.

JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression.

JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, University of Tennessee, the Guelph Sexuality Conference, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference

JoEllen’s first book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having was published by Thorntree Press in March 2020. Her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family was published by Thornapple Press in March 2023.

Live & Learn Archive

Love in the Time of Facebook: Someone Didn’t Die & I Hesitated to “Like” It

Please Give Me an Apartment, I Really Miss Sex

#sexgeek S.O.S

Surfing, Sex and Being a Badass

Stop saying “Friend zone”. That’s not a thing.

Cherry Picking: Let’s Rethink Virginity

What Do We Want?: Why is asking for what you need so ridiculously hard?

I Have First Date Sex and No, I’m Not Killing Courtship by Doing So

Stuck in a Moment: Stop having bad sex in the name of not ruining the sex

Dating, Slut Shaming & the Post-Coital Fist Bump