When you put a word like “ultimate” in your book’s title you’re aiming pretty high. I’m pleased to report that The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners delivers in spades.

After interviewing 200 men and their partners Charlie Glickman (who I have personally referred to as a “prostate whisperer” and “prostate Batman”- clearly he’s my go-to source on all things prostate) and Aislinn Emirzian have produced a roadmap to prostate pleasure that I can only describe as exhaustive, in the best possible way. This book serves as an “intro to prostates”, a guide to pleasure through prostate stimulation and a discussion of the stigmas that surround the activity all at once. Regardless of you orientation or experience level, even if you have no immediate plans to stimulate a prostate, this book is an immensely valuable addition to your library.

A teacher once told me that whenever you teach a workshop you should have attendees write down and hand in any questions at the start because otherwise they will spend the whole time wondering if they will get to ask their question. I thought of this when I saw that the first chapter of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure is devoted to “Frequently Asked Questions”. By jumping right in and dealing with questions like “(It’s)… up my ass?” and “Isn’t it messy?” this book won my heart There is no vague talking around stuff, which is refreshing especially with a topic that doesn’t get a lot of open discussion time and consequently can be fraught, worrisome and, frankly, scary. They approach it all head on, address the questions, do some myth-busting and prepare readers to explore safely & comfortably.

Then we get down to business with multiple chapters devoted to the where, how and why of the prostate – including how to get at it, how to stimulate it. Never, though, do the authors peddle the assumption things will work for everyone, which is awesome. I think, even in the sex positive community, while we intellectually get that not everything works for everybody, when we read the advice of experts we fall into the “I’m broken!” trap with frightening ease if it doesn’t work for our particular bodies. It’s terrific that the book takes that into account.

While solo play is encouraged to start off, there is great stuff here on introducing prostate play with a partner. Including advice on starting that conversation was such a thoughtful detail because, frankly, for some I suspect that may be one of the more challenging parts of the experience. Why? Well, they go into that (I love this book!) discussing the ideas that society has implanted in so many of us (Men aren’t penetrated, men DO the penetrating!!) and discussing how the activity doesn’t change a man’s sexuality and is another avenue to pleasure that one can share with their partner.

The chapters on prostate play are equally informative and thoughtful. Everything from hygiene (which does a great job of dispelling the “poop everywhere!” fear that sometimes plagues anal play), to the importance of listening to your body (stop if you feel pain!), to lube and positioning to proper prostate massage, to fisting and pegging is addressed, sometimes with helpful illustrations (I like the “poking vs. stroking” one myself). And, because, apparently, they were concerned I wasn’t obsessively in love with the book yet, chapter 10 is all about massaging the perineum. *swoon*

The chapters devoted to toys and anal & strap on sex are chock full of recommendations, advice and safety tips. Finally, the chapter devoted to prostate health explains the health benefits of prostate massage prostate care. As if all this wasn’t enough there’s a terrific list of resources including book recs, health resources and places to buy toys – I spied a couple Superhero Sex Shops on that list!

While I appreciate this book for all the wisdom in imparts I love this book for how it imparts that wisdom. It is a pleasure to read! The language does get clinical when the subject matter calls for it but overall the tone is casual, relaxed, friendly. By simply approaching this topic in this manner, Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian are taking big steps to help folks escape the “man box” and explore without fear.

I was lucky enough to see Charlie and Aislinn speak at CatalystCon back in March, it was awesome! Check out The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure’s official website to see when they’ll be coming your way.

I have referred to Charlie Glickman as a “prostate whisperer” and “prostate Batman”- he, along with Aislinn Emirzian, has written a book worthy of those titles- Love this book!

Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners here:

Early to Bed, She Bop, Bookshop.org

This product was provided to me free of change in exchange for my honest review. My review policy is simple: I will never lie about liking a product if I don’t (in fact I probably won’t even write about it) but when I do like something it’s hard to get me to shut up about it.