A year ago today I was in the grips of an existential crisis. I felt certain that I wasn’t fulfilling my calling (as it were) but I wasn’t sure what I should be doing. I was considering writing a book (I knew I wanted to be writing). I was considering going back to school so I could teach at the college level (I wasn’t sure what about but I knew that I loved teaching folks). I was a bit adrift. Then on the evening of July 2 I went out with a friend and we ended up having a long conversation about our love/sex lives (it’s the conversation I quote here) I remember saying “Well, I’d love to talk sex stuff all night but I have to go figure out what I’m doing with my life”, getting into my car and thinking “I wish I could just talk about that stuff all the time” Yeah, sometimes it takes me a little while to get stuff…
The next morning I went to my job as a personal trainer and during my 3rd appointment of the day (with an elderly gentleman who I had trained twice a week for months) I had a flash of inspiration and The Redhead Bedhead was born. Before I went to bed on July 3rd I had created my Twitter account (yeah, I did that first… also “Redhead Bedhead” was taken* which is why I took @BedheadTweeting), confirmed that my domain name was available and taken this picture.
For the record, I took this picture of the back of my head with my macbook, by myself. I’m always proud of that.
I scrapped my July 4th plans and built this site instead and I was off!
In the last year I’ve talked to a lot of folks who want to start blogs, podcasts or other such projects and what I hear over and over is “I’ve been hanging out on the edges of the sex positive community for a while. I think I’m almost ready to jump in.” That was so not my story. I knew nothing of this community. I approached this thinking “I’m going to talk about sex on the internet. Do people even do that?!” (yes, seriously) I had no idea what I was doing and in the first couple of posts it shows. I was terrified to express any opinions or share any information, lest it be wrong. I was so serious all the time! I spent a lot of time starting sentences with “The CDC says…”Thank god I figured out how to be the Bedhead and be myself.
In the last year I have done more reading and writing than I ever imagined. I have discovered role models, learned from them, admired them and, in many cases, met them. I have toured sex shops and attended conferences. I have created the internet’s most comprehensive list of sex-positive adult retailers and amassed more sex toys than I ever imagined. I’ve made amazing friends who I’ve never met (thank you internet!) and finally accepted that it was more than just my mom reading.
This year has been amazing.
And I’m just getting warmed up! The next 12 months will include more sex shop touring, more reading, the debut of video content on my site and a couple of cool projects I can’t talk about yet. I can’t wait.
Thank you to all of you. Those of you who’ve been reading along, those of you who have given me advice, guidance or just an ear to vent to and those of you who have made me feel like I’ve finally (34 years in) found the place where I belong. (kind of like this)
I’ve learned a lot in the last year but the biggest, most valuable lesson has been that following your heart to make the life you want is so completely terrifying, exciting, frustrating and gratifying. No one was going to run a Craigslist ad looking for someone to tour America’s sex shops, that wasn’t a job that existed. So I made it up. If I may be so bold as to share some “wisdom” (I guess) I want to let folks know that when it seems like the life you want doesn’t exist- make it up. When the opportunities you want aren’t coming to you, create them. When you can’t see the path to your desired future, forge your own.
I love and appreciate you all so much. Tune in on Friday when I launch my Bedhead Birthday giveaway! Cake will be involved 🙂
*Yes, the RedheadBedhead Twitter handle belongs to someone who, in 2011, took it, tweeted 15 times and then (from what I can tell) became trapped under something heavy and thus incapable of tweeting.
