UPDATE: This piece has been edited after complaints that folks didn’t know who the Justice League was. A link has been added. 

Well, I’m home (or at my brother’s home at least). The northeast/midwest legs of the Superhero Sex Shop Tour are over. The tour was incredible.I had a blast and I learned so much. First off, I learned that the east coast has the pricier toys and the bigger dildos while the midwest is where they’ve been keeping the oil-based lube- ALL OF IT. I learned that Canada doesn’t want to hear that you’re traveling there on business and they certainly don’t want to hear that your business involves sex shops, that it will take 2 hours to get all the way across Chicago via public transit and that the Milwaukee Athletic Club in no way, shape or form resembles a YMCA. I learned that ceramic dildos, lockable penis cages and electric zapping machines are all things that exist. And I learned that I will never be bored in a good sex shop.

Mostly though, I learned that we have some really kick-ass sex shops out there! I think my most repeated sentence on the tour was “I think this last one is my favorite shop!” (followed closely by “medium latte, please”) because every time I went into a shop I fell in love.

More than ever, I know that good sex shops matter. We almost lost one during the tour when Come As Your Are was in danger of closing- I was there 5 days later and all I could think was what a tragedy that would have been for all of us. Even if you are nowhere near Toronto you would have lost something there. We are all in this together. At CatalystCon Tristan Taormino (who, btw I got to see win a Feminist Porn Award) said “When one of us succeeds we all succeed” and she is so right.

By that same token when one of us takes a hit, we all feel it. Over the course of the tour I heard some shops refer to each other as “the competition” and while on an economic level I get that, on a broader level I think it represents flawed logic. The way I see it, we, as a nation, are in the midst of a sexual education crisis, a pleasure crisis and we need as many of us working on this a we can get. Each of these shops is amazing in a different way and adds something different to the conversation. So, I propose this to my Superhero Sex Shops, what if you were like the sex positive Super Friends? The carnal Justice League, if you will? Batman and Superman aren’t diminished by each other’s successes (stay with me here) and the success of both of them is necessary to save the world just as I believe the success of each of you is necessary to save the world from mediocre sex.

To my readers, you have a responsibility here to. Shop your local shops! Don’t have local shops? Look to the right, you will see a link entitled “Superhero Sex Shops” go there for the links to all the shops I’ve been to already (I’m working on making it prettier, bear with me) Many of these shops operate online so you can shop right from home. This list will continue to grow as I continue to explore good sex shops on the west coast, so check back often.

That said, it’s time for some thank yous.  First, my sponsors whose generosity enabled me to book flights, hop trains, rent cars and stay in hotels – without them I never could have pulled this off.

Thank you to Glyde Vegan Condoms for covering one of my hotel nights and loading me up with a crazy amount of condoms to distribute. They went over incredibly well with the folks at Tea Time & Sex Chats at the University of Chicago! Also, I got to educate a ton of consumers as to what makes a condom vegan. Do you know?*

Thank you also to Blossom Organics who covered all of my ground travel -without them I never would have gotten from Chicago to Minneapolis!- They also furnished a ton of samples which were distributed along the way.

Finally a huge thank you to my biggest sponsor, my Carnal Crusader without whom none of this would have been possible: We-Vibe! Not only do they make toys of incredible quality (that travel fabulously, btw) but their generosity allowed me to fly places, sleep in hotels and generally make this tour happen.

They also supplied those awesome We-Vibe 3 playbooks that some of you snagged from me along the way as well as the cards I kept on hand for the inevitable “Wait? How does this work?!”  They are amazing! Thank you so much We-Vibe!

Thank you to all of the shops! I had a terrific time visiting each and every one of you.

I have some personal thanks too:

Thank you to Eli & Justin for putting me up for 3 nights in Chicago- you guys are amazing!

Thank you to all the readers (who I understand may not want to be publicly named) who shopped with me, ate with me, showed me around your cities and generally made the trip even more fun.

Finally, thanks to my mom who I know was made incredibly anxious by this whole trip – I made it to the other side!

*Traditional condoms are manufactured using animal casein – Not Glyde though!